Our client was a middle-aged man who owned his own business, charged with assault and fail to quit premises after an altercation with bouncers at a leagues club following a night watching the A-League. In submissions to the court, our client’s “assault” was cheekily but relevantly characterised as “more of a cartwheel than a kick”. While the court accepted this submission, our client had a previous charge of drink driving on his record, so he was convicted, received a small fine and put on a good behaviour bond.